Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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