I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
