Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
