is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
