You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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