I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
