Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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