I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
