Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
