Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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