For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
