and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
