Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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