? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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