There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
