I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
