Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize