All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
