hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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