don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
