i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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