i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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