return my video game
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
