just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
