After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
