He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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