you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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