you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize