Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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