If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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