the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
