I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
