on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
