Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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