I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
