Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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