He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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