any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
