just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
