I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
