New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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