He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
