I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
