That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
