If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
