theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
