If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
love makes seman taste better
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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