I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize