I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
