No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
