How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
