cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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