So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
