I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
