is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm both gender and math confused
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
