I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
