You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
