he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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