everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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